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Forgive me for ignoring you

By on April 6, 2012 in Food, Seasonal Fun

Gentle Readers, one of you has given me a gentle poke and chastised me for not having written anything this week, ergo, get your finger out woman.  This article was actually written yesterday but The System was on the blink.  Sorry.

In my defence, it has been the first week of the holidays and I have been hanging out with the boys, having lie-ins, doing a bit of work, a couple of markets, doing Easter things and also, when I can fit it in, hours of research for the BBC.

Every time I was about to come down to The Bunker and write something to tickle your collective fancies, Boy the Younger would have a bad dream or Boy the Elder would have to be dragged, kicking and screaming, off Facebook. Before I log him off, confiscate the keyboard and hide my laptop, I write caustic notes to his friends saying that I will stop writing caustic notes once they learn how to read and get lives outside in the burning sunlight. They think this is amusing and cool, but Boy the Elder cringes with humiliation. Well, Boy, there’s a solution to that.....

Below I have included some photos of the Easter things we have been doing and links to other articles about Easter things you can do too. The little Easter Cakes are made using Basic Sponge Cake Mix and Mock Cream piped on the top which has been coloured with colouring paste and decorated with things you can get in any shop.

Actually, I’ve been a bit lax this year, as I haven’t made a Simnel Cake or Hot Cross Buns and I have only done Easter Baskets for the chaps – everyone else will get a Lindt Bunny. But in my defence, there surely isn’t a beating heart in the realm which would not melt in the waffly nose of a Lindt Bunny?

In the morning, the boys are off to stay with their father and I am off to stay with Sister the Second for the weekend which effectively means a couple of days drinking wine, talking bollocks and laughing a lot. The Aged Parent will join us on Sunday and Sister the First will join in the fun on Monday morning, so I will get to see everyone. Also, STS and I are going to see Sarah Millican at The Wycombe Swan on Sunday night which I’m sure will be an absolute hoot. I am looking forward to it so much I can’t tell you.

I will try to post again tomorrow but it will depend very much on whether STS has managed to get the Sauvignon Blanc drip attached to the canula I have sensibly attached to the back of my hand. To save washing up you understand....

You might also like to look at Easy Cupcakes for any Occasion

http://www.wartimehousewife.com/2011/03/easy-cupcakes-for-any-occasion

For more Things to Make and Do at Easter, follow the links below:-

Easter Baskets:

Hot Cross Buns:

Faberge Egg Decorations:

Simnel Cake:

Felt Egg Cosies:

 

Comments { 5 }

Happy Valentine’s Day

By on February 14, 2012 in Seasonal Fun, Slider, The Big, Wide World

Pass the bucket

Well here it is again.  Valentine’s Day.  The day on which Clinton Cards can justify its existence and young hopefuls shower their prospective squeezes with sentiments so far outside of their normal range of speech, taste and experience that it leaves one gasping for all the wrong reasons.

There are some beautiful, tasteful cards available, but many are unforgivably soppy or distastefully vulgar.  And let me tell you now, if anyone sent me a Valentine that had kittens or teddies on it (unless it was done with a hefty dollop of irony) I would be sick in a bucket – and then send them the card back in the bucket. With a pink ribbon round it.

Better still, make a card yourself, take the time and effort to make something special.  The Father of my Children, being an artist, used to paint the most beautiful cards (for all occasions) and I treasure them still because they were made just for me.

But never send a card anonymously.  Actually, never do anything anonymously.  What’s the point?  Give a clue, give a hint, but if you’re too timid to sign it, you don’t deserve them anyway.

better....

Neglectful husbands purchase overpriced chocolates and clichéd flowers in the hope of reviving their sex lives, and downtrodden wives will kill their husbands if they don’t get a card as a minimum requirement whilst hoping against hope that they might just get one from a secret admirer who will take them away from all this. If they did, their husband might actually get laid.

Where is the true romance?  Where are the love letters written on beautiful paper in elegant handwriting?  Where are the spontaneous flowers given on an un-named day in June because you know he will be delighted?  How many times do women buy beautiful flowers for men anyway?  And where are the chaste yet passionate moments at railway stations?

Gone to hell in a handcart.

I will share with you my favourite ever Valentine – apposite, direct – received in the 80s when I was very politically active.

Labour is Red
Tories are Blue
But I am a Liberal
Can I sleep with you?

The answer was, of course, …..

deep sigh

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Merry Christmas one and all!

By on December 24, 2011 in Seasonal Fun

I would like to thank all my readers and particularly the regular commenters who contribute so much to The Wartime Housewife.  It has been a full and enjoyable year and I hope we shall all go from strength to strength.

I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy 2012.

With all my love

The Wartime Housewife, Boy the Elder and Boy the Younger, Smog and Jeremiah
xxxxx

This lovely card was hand made by My Naughty Friend and, although you can’t really get the 3D-ness of it or the lovely shinyness of it, I thought I’d share it with you all.

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My Christmas Cake…

By on December 23, 2011 in Seasonal Fun, Slider

… which was finally finished at 2am on Wednesday evening.  It’s not one of my fanciest (see below) but the boys love it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS is the fanciest one I’ve ever done, but that was when my only job was housewifing.

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Neglected Readers

By on December 22, 2011 in Home and Family, Seasonal Fun

I really, really meant to write something today but I’ve been so busy the day has run away with me.

Also, I’m a bit knackered if I’m honest.  The boys’ rooms had reached HazMat status yet again and I had given them a week to get them cleared, ending last night.  Having seen how little they had done to get them tidy, I informed them that they had until 9pm to get them finished or I was going in with the bin bags.  9pm came and, although Boy the Elder had made serious in-roads in to what can only be described as the ‘matter’ in his bedroom, Boy the Younger had done nothing.

I had no alternative but to carry out my threat.  I filled one box with stuff for the charity shop and filled three bin bags to take to the tip.  They had enough understanding of their personal safety not to make a fuss and first thing this morning I dumped the lot.  I allowed them to keep any toys that were in their correct boxes but that was all.

I’m not good at throwing things away and I had a knot in my stomach while I was doing it, but if you make an empty threat, you’ve lost the battle.  Unfortunately, the irksome task of binning the stuff took up ALL the time I had allocated for decorating my Christmas Cake.  Consequently, I didn’t get to bed until gone 2am but still had to be up at 7.30 to get Boy the Younger to school.

After this morning’s visit to the tip, the day got better.  We went a-roving to say Merry Christmas to our friends and exchange gifts.  Mrs Cecil, the Admiral and his First Mate and Irish Alice were all visited and Irish Alice even fed and watered us.

When I went to inform the boys of the need to go home, I knocked politely on Yippee’s door to alert them to my presence and as I went in, Boy the Younger (8) leapt to his feet and, in a perfect Dick Van Dyke accent, exclaimed “We wasn’t lookin’ at porn or nuffin’, missus!”  We all fell about laughing and, after much hugging and kissing and ho ho ho-ing, we tottered off into the total blackness of a rural Northamptonshire night and wended homewards.

And now I’m going to bed.  Sorry I couldn’t think of anything to write about.

Comments { 9 }

The Wartime Housewife decorates the top of her tree with…….

By on December 17, 2011 in Culture, Seasonal Fun

A GOLLY!

And the answers to the clue?

Oranges and Lemons = the most popular types of marmalade
The image has left     = the golly was discontinued in 2002
But BA and Upton    = BA Robertson (singer) and Florence Upton (the creator of the golliwog or polywiggle as she originally called it)
Feared identity theft  = you use a shredder to prevent identity fraud  – ie golden or silver shred marmalade

Before I announce the winner, I would like to compliment you all on such a plethora of intriguing ideas; some imaginative, some traditional and some really rather bizarre.  You are all winners in my eyes, but obviously not enough to win an expensive article of branded ceramic.

Penny B and Fishwife got  there but sadly too late.  If they would like to email their addresses I will send them a Wartime Housewife badge.

BUT THE WINNER IS…..

BACKWATERSMAN of of Go Litel blog, Go…

Well done that boy!
Although I think you should take a moment to reflect on what it means to realise that you are on my wavelength.

Please email me your address and preference for either a “Best Foot Forward” or “Never underestimate a cup of tea and a custard cream” mug.

 

 

Comments { 11 }

What’s on top of YOUR Christmas Tree? Plus a Wartime Housewife Christmas Competition!

By on December 13, 2011 in Home and Family, Seasonal Fun, Slider

Mug shot

Win a Wartime Housewife Mug:  Read on….

I was reading the interesting and well written blog by Knitsofacto just now in which she posted some gorgeous pictures of people bringing home their Christmas Trees.

A fir tree of the type you might use at Christmas

Christmas Trees are a very personal thing.  I hate real trees because of the needles and I don’t like the idea of something dying slowly in my sitting room for two weeks before being tossed casually aside.  The ones with roots are expensive unless you have a big enough garden to plant them out and then keep digging them up every year.  Unless of course you plant them out and don’t dig them up in order to have your own plantation and subsequent logging operation.

Either way, I am an artificial tree woman through and through.  I bought a lovely, natural looking one from John Lewis many years ago and it still looks lovely.  I shall build it on Friday morning and the boys will decorate it in the evening.

But what do you put on the top of your tree?  A fairy?  An angel? A star? And why do you put it there?

The star is representative of the guiding star which lead the Three Kings/Wise Men from the East to find Jesus in Bethlehem, as mentioned in the book of Matthew.  The Wise Men were also known as Magi, a priestly caste of Zoroastrians.  These priests were particularly interested in the stars and had an international reputation for their skill in astrology which, at the time, was regarded as a science.

The Angel is described in the book of Luke as appearing to the shepherds to tell them of the birth of a saviour who would be found in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes.  After this a host of angels appears saying “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men”.

One is tempted to think that our more secular society has translated this into a fairy, but star fairies occur in many non Christian belief systems, usually inhabiting fir trees.  And let’s not forget The Sugar Plum Fairy from Tchaikovsky’s ‘Nutcracker Suite’ which is about as Christmassy as you can get.

We used to have a very bizarre fairy doll on the top of our tree when we were children, that had clearly been a Nurse Doll at some point as her hat with a red cross had been covered up with thin tinsel.  She was made of hard plastic with eyes that opened and shut if you tipped her head back and her hair was a brownish plastic swirl on top of her head.

When the Father of My Children and I moved to The Midlands we thought long and hard about what to put on top of our Christmas tree.  Then, whilst out shopping, the perfect thing was revealed.

I will send a Wartime Housewife Mug to the first person who can guess
what the Wartime Housewife puts on top of her Christmas Tree.

The winner will be announced on Saturday 17th December at midday British Desborough time, together with a corroborating photograph of the top of my tree.

This competition may not be entered by The Father of My Children, Boy the Elder or Boy the Younger as they would have an unfair advantage. Sorry.

Comments { 34 }

The Wartime Housewife has Gone Shopping

By on December 10, 2011 in Seasonal Fun, The Big, Wide World

Sorry not to have posted today and thank you for all your lovely comments about Secret Santa.  I wrote that piece and then braced myself for a barrage of people murmuring ‘Sour Puss’ and ‘Grumpy Face’ but it appears that I have struck a chord.

As the title suggests, I have migrated south to the sunny shores of Sister the First and we have spent the day shopping in Kingston.  I have pretty much completed my Christmas shopping and have had a lovely time doing it.  One last hit on Amazone and I shall be done.  Hurrah!  I love buying presents for people.

The Bentalls Centre is a nice place.  There was a big display of teddies and dancing penguins and there were great big baubles on the ceiling that opened out to reveal Father Christmas, children unwrapping presents in fluffy dressing gowns and snowmen in top hats.  I am very easily entertained.

Comments { 5 }

Secret Santa

By on December 8, 2011 in Home and Family, Seasonal Fun

I have a real problem with Secret Santa.  Christmas has already got unbearably commercial, most of us have significantly more than we need and, on top of the pleasurable business of buying gifts for our families and close friends, someone decides that we have to buy presents for our colleagues as well.  Not our special friend in the Accounts Department or the Lower Fourth, but someone randomly drawn out of hat and about whom, the chances are, we know nothing.

I hadn’t really come across Secret Santa until Boy the Elder was at his vile former school.  The teachers encouraged the children to participate on the grounds that it generated good spirits within the class.  OK.  Except that it wasn’t a secret and the teachers insisted that the children reveal who had given the gifts.

Boy the Elder refused to participate (which made him even more unpopular) because he felt that it was an unfair pressure on children from poorer families and that it degraded the pleasure of buying a gift for someone who was a special friend.

Irish Alice’s daughter, Yippee I A, refused to participate at her school for the same reasons, although I discovered today that the children are spending in the region of £20 each on a Secret Santa gift for their classmates.  Yes folks, £20.00.  That’s more than I would expect members of my family to spend on my children.

Irish Alice told me today that someone at her daughter’s school has stolen a load of these presents from under the tree in the Common Room.  The theft amounted to approximately £180 worth of gifts.  The really unpleasant thing is that the children are all too willing to reveal how much they’ve spent and some are demanding compensation.  The police have become involved and an investigation is underway.  Yippee is trying really hard not to crow.

This year, BTE has joined in Secret Santa at his new school because a) there are only 11 people in his class, b) they are all good friends and they know each other well, c) they agree not to spend more than a fiver and d) the gift giver remains anonymous.  I still don’t like it but at least it’s being done in the right spirit.

Secret Santa just strikes me as being one more example of nothing ever being big enough.  It’s not enough to send your colleagues or classmates a nice card or share a Christmas drink.  You have to buy them something to actively demonstrate your deep love for this virtual acquaintance.  It’s not enough to feel pity and private grief for the death of your neighbour, you have to be seen to wail and sob and leave cheap flowers and nylon teddies at the location of their demise.  It’s not enough for the Herald Angels to sing – unless we get the chance to vote them off.

Comments { 27 }

Last Christmas Posting Dates

By on November 27, 2011 in Seasonal Fun, The Big, Wide World

Just a reminder for my international visitors of the last recommended posting dates for International Air Mail from the UK that will be certain to arrive before Christmas (God willing if we’re spared, as my aunt used to say).

South & Central America, Caribbean, Africa, Middle East, Asia, Far East, Japan, Australia and New Zealand Monday 5th December
Eastern Europe, USA and Canada Friday 9thDecember
Western Europe Monday 12thDecember

 

Comments { 5 }